Elephants in Hats are Dashing.... To Say The Least

I was just reading the news about the island of elephants found in Sudan. These chaps are very industrious, I must say. I know this first hand as I used to work as an Elephant Haberdasher during the Vietnam War. It is very difficult to craft headwear for such gigantic beasts, but they sit through the fittings with a smile on their faces. I realize that the scientists who discovered these elephants are not releasing their coordinates for fear of poaching, but I do hope that every single one of them is splendidly outfitted with a hat, like the ones you see here. It does so much for their self-esteem.

Dashingly Yours,
Horace Mittingtons the Third