Porky Mittingtons To Be Slimmonized!

Blimey! I have been informed by Mumsies and Pops that I am looking a little round at the edges. These two know nothing of the virtues of a happy cat. Believe me, the camera really does add ten pounds, these two are nothing but skin and bones! To hazard a cliche, they really do remind me of the bean poles I used to aid me in my farming days, but that's a different story isn't it...

And so, much to my dismay, I have been subjected to the training tactics of Celebrity Fitness Guru, Mr. Richard Simmons. I say! My muscles have never felt so lithe... or so painfully cramped. I have been rendered weary from hour long training sessions, six times a day. And to top it all off, my ears seem to be bleeding. Richard Simmons makes a lot of noise for such a little man. I might have to scratch his eyes out.

Pray For Me
Mr. Horace Mittingtons the Third