Angelina Bans Press, Mittingtons Not Amused!

Mumsies must be out of her mind. I think it has something to do with the fact that she only allows herself one bowl of rice gruel per gruelling day. Last night at her New York Premiere of A Mighty Heart, she banned the press from the red carpet! She also threatened to sue any reporters who dared ask tough questions. Not to mention the whole thing was supposedly a benefit for Reporters Without Borders. All ye who didn't take grade ten english please pull out your OEDs and look up irony now. This is the kind of irony Alanis Morrisette couldn't come up with, the real kind. I say! What a fiasco! And I ask you, why the hell did I bother getting up at 4 pm to press the creases from my Armani if no one was able to photograph it!?!?

Wondering If She's Finally Lost It,
Horace Mittingtons the Third