Paris Priming to Play Ping Pong in Next Olympics!

Oh deary me! What a crying shame! Will someone please get this girl some moisturizer!?!?!?!?
Look at those arms, that chin! And obviously they have made her remove those extensions. Paris Hilton is surely going to the dogs in prison. But it's not all so bad. She has found God, realized she isn't as dumb as she acts, and discovered the magical sport of table tennis. And she decided to tell it all to the benevolent ears of Baba Wawa see clip.

Well, I look forward to playing a match with the heiress when she is released. What a larf it will be! She better work extra hard though, as I have never before informed her that I used to play the game with the Queen's own Buckingham Palace Table Tennis League!

Limbering up my wrists,
Horace Mittingtons the Third