Prozac, Not Guns, Responsible For Columbine!

Ah dearest friends, where would we be without the psychaitric advice of alien-worshipping, Kirstie Alley adoring movie stars? I say! According to John Travolta I should be roaming the halls of some high school wearing a trench coat and ready to put a cap in the grade eight science teacher! Travolta is claiming that it wasn't guns that were the problem in the recent school massacres, but rather antidepressants. A thesis straight from Thetan, yes, but one that obviously made Marilyn Manson's record company very happy. All this time I was misled to thinking that it was a lack of prozac that caused people to get so depressed and angry they decided to kill their frenemies, and themselves. As of today I am flushing my prozac down the toilet and starting a fresh new regime of self-medication and vitamins....

Cleansed by Xenu,
Horace Mittingtons