Call Her Mrs. Brittingtons!

It really has been a bad week for my dear friend Britney Spears! And yesterday it culminated with her losing custody to K-Fed? Who could have predicted this outcome? In a gesture of solidarity with the victim, I arrived in L.A. last night to fill the void in Britney's arms. It all would have gone swimmingly if she hadn't kept handing me off to her assistant so she could strip naked. I say! No one needs to see that!!! Later when she was driving me to the DMV so she could apply for a driver's licence, she forgot to put me in a cat carrier. I, of course, grew frantic and removed a large chunk of extensions with my claws. She reciprocated by force feeding me cheetos until my fur turned the colour of her skin.

Egad! Someone spike her frappuccino with Effexor!
Mr. Mittingtons